Gay B L T

Ali G interviewing a Marine Colonel recently returned from Iraq:

Ali G: Alo mate. So dose roadside bombs, the so called BLTs, is dey relly dangrous?

The Colonel: You mean the WMDs, yes they have killed many American soldiers and Iraqi citizens.

Ali G: Keep it real,.. but tells me agin, how dem sammitches kills sos many peoples.

Ali G: Respect!

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Ali G interviews California Sen. Sheila Kuehl, the Democrat who introduced the Gay History bill.

Ali G: Alo Sunatur, big up to you.

Sheila Kuehl: Hello

Ali G: Is yose like the main bitch bak in England, ya know, Queenie?

Sheila Kuhl: No, I’m just a State Senator, but I have great respect for your Queen.

Ali G: This says yose introduced a piece of legislation requiring gay history to be included in public school textbooks. Tell me why?

Sheila Kuhl: Not requiring textbooks to include homosexuals' and transgenders' contributions to California history amounts to enforced invisibility.

Ali G: Watch you mean? Yose a lezzie, anit-cha, and I sees you fine.

Sheila Kuhl: Yes I am a lesbian, and proud of it, but we already have rules that mandate coverage of the historical contributions of other minorities, women, Hispanics, Chinese, the disabled, Mormons, Jews in our textbooks. Those of us with other sexual orientations are the last great uncovered group. We just want to be treated fairly.

Ali G: Bitches is a minority?

Sheila Kuhl: I assume you mean women; you British underclass certainly need to clean up your language. While women are numerically a majority, by virtue of our historic oppression at the hands of men we qualify as a minority in Federal laws dealing with hiring, promotion, tenure in Ivy League science departments and such.

Ali G: Whatever. Sose you wants them books to feature stories about homosapiens, trisexuals and batty boys? Whose gonna buy dem?

Sheila Kuhl: Well, since California accounts for about 12 percent of the nation's textbook market, millions of parents will be buying the books for their kids.

Ali G: I gots that bill right here, SB 1437, also requires all social studies textbooks to study the role and contributions of people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, with particular emphasis on portraying the role of these groups in contemporary society. Is dat a good thing? I mean me sis is confused enuf.

Sheila Kuhl: Oh, what’s her name?

Ali G: Nevah mind dat. This religious group Campaign for Children and Families testified against the Gay BLT bill, calling it sexual indoctrination and mental molestation.

Sheila Kuhl: That’s a conservative group, it wants to destroy the fabric of American life. I mean the Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian and Transgenders have made enormous contributions to American society. Did you know that Abraham Lincoln (a Republican) was gay?

Ali G: Respect.

[Da Ali G Show on HBO is full of such insightful interviews.]