Saturday, May 13, 2006

Gay B L T

Ali G interviewing a Marine Colonel recently returned from Iraq:

Ali G: Alo mate. So dose roadside bombs, the so called BLTs, is dey relly dangrous?

The Colonel: You mean the WMDs, yes they have killed many American soldiers and Iraqi citizens.

Ali G: Keep it real,.. but tells me agin, how dem sammitches kills sos many peoples.

Ali G: Respect!


Ali G interviews California Sen. Sheila Kuehl, the Democrat who introduced the Gay History bill.

Ali G: Alo Sunatur, big up to you.

Sheila Kuehl: Hello

Ali G: Is yose like the main bitch bak in England, ya know, Queenie?

Sheila Kuhl: No, I’m just a State Senator, but I have great respect for your Queen.

Ali G: This says yose introduced a piece of legislation requiring gay history to be included in public school textbooks. Tell me why?

Sheila Kuhl: Not requiring textbooks to include homosexuals' and transgenders' contributions to California history amounts to enforced invisibility.

Ali G: Watch you mean? Yose a lezzie, anit-cha, and I sees you fine.

Sheila Kuhl: Yes I am a lesbian, and proud of it, but we already have rules that mandate coverage of the historical contributions of other minorities, women, Hispanics, Chinese, the disabled, Mormons, Jews in our textbooks. Those of us with other sexual orientations are the last great uncovered group. We just want to be treated fairly.

Ali G: Bitches is a minority?

Sheila Kuhl: I assume you mean women; you British underclass certainly need to clean up your language. While women are numerically a majority, by virtue of our historic oppression at the hands of men we qualify as a minority in Federal laws dealing with hiring, promotion, tenure in Ivy League science departments and such.

Ali G: Whatever. Sose you wants them books to feature stories about homosapiens, trisexuals and batty boys? Whose gonna buy dem?

Sheila Kuhl: Well, since California accounts for about 12 percent of the nation's textbook market, millions of parents will be buying the books for their kids.

Ali G: I gots that bill right here, SB 1437, also requires all social studies textbooks to study the role and contributions of people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, with particular emphasis on portraying the role of these groups in contemporary society. Is dat a good thing? I mean me sis is confused enuf.

Sheila Kuhl: Oh, what’s her name?

Ali G: Nevah mind dat. This religious group Campaign for Children and Families testified against the Gay BLT bill, calling it sexual indoctrination and mental molestation.

Sheila Kuhl: That’s a conservative group, it wants to destroy the fabric of American life. I mean the Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian and Transgenders have made enormous contributions to American society. Did you know that Abraham Lincoln (a Republican) was gay?

Ali G: Respect.

[Da Ali G Show on HBO is full of such insightful interviews.]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. I thought you had copied the interviews from a website. Very impressive! Respek!


6:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this for real??


6:58 PM  
Blogger gary daily said...

Ali G? Never heard of him/it. Bill Lama’s excerpts from the show provides a little of the flavor of what passes for . . . what? Humor?

This stuff is so pervasive that it really is hard to be outraged by any of the junk on TV. From fake reality (“Lost,” “Survivor,” etc.) to the over-blown, blow-off amateur hour, “American Idol,” TV is _still_ a vast wasteland–only now that arid desert of a handful of channels has expanded from Mojave size to Sahara+Gobi proportions.

But given the commercial props and hype that hold up and send this stuff into those boxes which dominate so many households, why should we be surprised, outraged or saddened? Here’s what we get from the big buck boys on their HBO web site promo:

“The Emmy®-nominated, BAFTA Award-winning Ali G is back! British comedic genius, Sacha Baron Cohen, slips into the skins of his devilish alter egos, Ali G, Borat and Bruno to create loads of hilarious riffs at the expense of American culture in the second season of the international phenomenon called "riotous", by The Dallas Morning News and "deliciously wicked," by the Boston Globe. Available now at the HBO Store. "...I laughed so much I'm sure I hurt something." - New York Post”

Well, commercialism (that is free enterprise, you know, capitalism) sends us once again into the lowest reaches of the common denominator of materialistic culture. And still we turn down or groan mightily about a minuscule amount of taxes to support a sliver of excellence on public television. Go figure. Talk about knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing–hey Ali G, enjoy your stay in America–they love you from Boston to Dallas.

6:59 PM  
Blogger knibilnats said...

gary, glad you have such a strong opinion about ali g, considering you've never seen the show. classy.

7:20 PM  
Blogger Roseville Conservative said...

In my hood, we straight-up holla dat dis interview be slamming the Kool-Aid, yo!


y'all need to stop trippin'

7:42 PM  
Blogger Free Agency Rules said...

I thought BLT was a sandwich?

I am going to form a new group called the "KKK" and I bet we can get a new anti-discrimination bill passed because "ALL" groups should have rights regardless of how wrong they are.

Wait a minute the "KKK" was already taken. Mine stood for "Kerry Kennedy Kingdoms."

Nah, on second thought, the other socialists already have a party that is protected.


7:58 PM  

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