"Oui, you big strong Hezbollah man”

Starbucks War Room, 8/13/06 (tomorrow): Anticipating a bracing discussion about the neuveau Gallic militarism, I thought it useful to outline the recent UN Security Council Resolution 1701 on “The Situation in the Middle East.” As Claudia Rosett put it: If Only Turtle Bay Had a Moral Compass... But non, this 1701 is just its latest attempt to paper over the real problems.

The UN resolution said Hezbollah must halt all attacks and Israel must stop all offensive military operations. The resolution stipulates that after fighting stops, Israel must withdraw all its forces from Lebanon at the earliest opportunity, in tandem with a UN-Lebanese troop deployment. The resolution authorizes up to 15,000 UN troops to move into Lebanon to enforce a ceasefire. France is to lead the force, which will expand the existing UN Interim Force in Lebanon (UNIFIL), but have a stronger mandate.

But… French Foreign Minister Philippe Douste-Blazy made clear in an interview with Le Monde newspaper that the mission of the UN troops would not include disarming Hezbollah by force. "We never thought a purely military solution could resolve the problem of Hezbollah," he said. "We are agreed on the goal, the disarmament, but for us the means are purely political."

Purely political means???

Following the UN vote, the Israeli army pushed deeper into Lebanon with air strikes and helicopters flights lifting hundreds of Israeli troops. Israel's top general said the offensive would go on until the UN force arrived to put down Hezbollah. "We will continue to operate until we achieve our aims," Lieutenant-General Dan Halutz told reporters.

Hezbollah leader Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah said Hezbollah had the “right to resist any Israeli soldiers who remained on Lebanese soil.”

Which brings us right back to the French-led UN regiment (The Quicheaters). Little Green Footballs blog ran this story yesterday and many of the 200 plus reader comments were priceless. Here are a few of the best.

Brace yourself people. Some awesome French nuanced "political" action coming up... Run for your lives Hezbozos!... Or not.

Yeah. All Hezbollah needs is some Chocolat pastries. Perhaps they will have wine-tastings. Jackass.

I understand French policy in WW2 now. Surrendering to the Germans was all part of an elaborate plan to get Hitler to disarm by purely political means. Only those damn Limeys and the cowboy Americans screwed it up.

Just what the situation needed - 15,000 French human shields. The Hezbollah must be shaking in their boots. Is it really a human shield if it's a Frog?

Foreign Minister Douche-Blasé continued: And I would just once again, ladies and gentilhommes de la presse, again like to offer up a big wet kiss of Merci to the Iranian mullards, who continue in their role as une force de la stabilization in the Middle East...

Interchange between Hezbollah chief Nasrallah and the French General in charge:

NASRALLAH: If you will not let us past the Litani River, we shall take your UNIFIL post by force!

FRENCH GENERAL: You don't frighten us, Arab pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you.

NASRALLAH: Now look here, my good man--

FRENCH GENERAL: You empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!

Sometime later:

FRENCH GENERAL: Oui, you big strong Hezbollah man, you will give me your long thick gun, ne c'est pas? What, bend over? Oui, oui, Monseiur ...