The Democrats Protection Racket

Doug and Dinsdale Pirana were born and raised in the rough and tumble dock area of Liverpool, UK. As youngsters, the boys were notorious for their antisocial behavior. Dinsdale, especially, was shunned for his practice of nailing playmate’s body parts to odd items of furniture for relatively minor infractions of the so called “code.” Mrs. Pirana, an up-and-coming amateur boxer and Tory MP, was nonetheless disappointed when her sons quit high school to embark on a career in organized crime.

As the brains of the duo, Doug came up with a “plan” for their first venture, a “protection” business. The brothers approached shop owners with the offer to beat them up once a month in exchange for the protection money. While Dinsy thoroughly enjoyed the work, Doug noticed that their clientele were fleeing the city in search of a better deal. So Doug came up with the “other plan” wherein Dinsy would not beat up the customers as long as they did not pay the protection fee. This “other plan” brought former clients back to the city but did little for the boy’s cash flow. Finally Doug hit upon the “other, other plan” wherein the clients would not be beat up if they paid the protection money. This was the real beginning of the Pirana brother’s entrepreneurial success.

At a Social Security anti-privitization rally just yesterday a black, female Democratic leader led the crowd in the chant: “It’s not wise to privatize.” The Democratic Party prefers to maintain the status quo where worker’s pay is taxed 12.4% to fund the “plan” that pays, for example, the average black man just one year of retirement income, say $10,000, for the 40 or so years of tax payments. If the man dies before retiring, the tax money does not go to his family, since it is not really their money. It belongs to the government and is used to pay other retirees, mostly white women, and to fund other government programs.

With private retirement accounts, nearly half of the workers in America who do not make enough to invest in stocks and bonds would be able to direct one third of their payroll taxes to investment accounts that would belong to the workers and their families. This is the “other plan” offered by the Republicans.

The Democrats prefer the current “plan” that would be an organized crime RICO violation if the Pirana brothers offered it to the American workers.