Poultry in Motion

Scott Ott





Scott is one of the funniest bloggers around. I visit ScrappleFace every day and generally find gems like the following.

Hillary Calls for Universal Chicken Health Care

Responding to the Bush administration’s $7.1 billion plan to address a potential avian flu pandemic among humans, Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY, today held a news conference to draw attention to the millions of young chickens who lack government-managed health care.

“The Bush administration has failed to implement a national poultry health care program, and the consequences have come home to roost,” said Sen. Clinton, a noted health policy expert. “Each year, more than 200 million baby American chickens come into this world without federally-managed health insurance, not to mention the turkeys, ducks, geese and guinea hens.”

“The bird flu pandemic just highlights the fact that there are really two Americas,” she said. “In the first America, insured humans schedule visits at the doctor’s office. But in the second America, fuzzy little chickens hopelessly wait in long lines for basic health care that should be their birthright.”

A White House spokesman said President George Bush has a busy agenda, but always welcomes constructive proposals from lawmakers.

“The president’s plate is pretty full right now,” said the unnamed spokesman, “But when it comes to healthy poultry, he’s eager to see what Sen. Clinton would bring to the table.”