Thursday, December 29, 2005

Definition of a Liberal

The great Mark Steyn wrote recently that George Clooney, the matinee idol said that liberal had become a dirty word and he'd like to change that. Fair enough. So I hope he won't mind if I make a suggestion. The best way to reclaim liberal for the angels is to get on the right side of history -- the side the Iraqi people are on. The word liberal has no meaning if those who wear the label refuse to celebrate the birth of a new democracy after 40 years of tyranny.

That's not a bad working definition. I'm sure that FDR, Harry Truman and Jack Kennedy would endorse it.

The great Dennis Prager has a test for liberals on his web site. Dennis writes: "It is my belief that about half of the Americans who call themselves liberal do not hold the great majority of positions held by mainstream liberal institutions such as the New York Times..."

So Dennis offers up a list of 23 positions taken by liberals such as #3. Murderers should never be put to death; #14. The Israelis and Palestinians are morally equivalent; and #17. No abortions can be labeled immoral. I scored zero for 23 on the test so I must not be a liberal.

Dennis says that his list is a work in progress, so I'd like to offer up my 12 defining characteristics of an American liberal, in no particular order.

1. You feel that things are not going well in your life. (An opinion held by 15% of Americans.)

2. The National Security Agency (NSA) should not be allowed to intercept telephone conversations between terrorism suspects in other countries and people living in the United States. (23% agreed)

3. Global warming is the greatest threat facing the world. (Al Gore says so.)

4. Racism is our worst domestic problem. (Jesse Jackson says so.)

5. We must not drill for oil in the Artic Wildlife Reserve. (We mustn't disturb those caribou.)

6. The environment has been degrading for the past 30 years. (Alternatively, the standard of living of average Americans has been declining.)

7. Multiculturalism is a higher goal than assimilation for immigrants. (Corollary: all cultures are equally moral.)

8. Unions are good for public education and for government work.

9. Government should guarantee basic needs (food, shelter, health insurance) for all people.

10. It is impossible to increase Federal government revenue by cutting taxes across the board. (No Laffer curve for them.)

11. The Constitution contains the right to an abortion. (Disguised as a right to privacy, flowing from the 4th Amendment's protection against unreasonable searches)

12. American opposition to an American war is patriotic. (Believed by the entire moonbat wing of the Democratic Party).


How many of these liberal positions do you hold? Are you a Moonbat, a Lefty, a Progressive....or a Conservative like moi?

10-12: Moonbat (eg Gore, Kerry, Kennedy, Dean, Pelosi)
5-9: Lefty (eg both Clintons, Schwartzenneger)
1-4: Progressive (eg Lieberman, McCain)
zero: Conservative

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

21 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of
Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison & A.G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and beastiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal..

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy

Happy New Year,
Tom R.

10:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bill

I really want to thank you for the fun and amusement you have provided in 2005. Reading Palosverdesblog has been a bit like reading the National Enquirer at the check-out. The content is of a similar quality, but your blog takes itself more seriously!

Particular favorites have been (1) the continuing diatribe on the incomplete science of evolution and your not-so-subtle attempts to turn it into a branch of religion, (2) your continuing salivation over anything to do with war and soldiers, (3) the blaming of liberals at a time when conservatives control all the main levers of government, and of course (4) the proud picture of you and your new car.

Frankly, what you lack is any kind of balance in your writing. As a result, the only credibility you have is with those who already agree with you (The "Great post, Bill" brigade). If this is what your countless hours spent blogging in 2005 have been all about, then good job. If your objective is to persuade people who don't already agree, then you need to think again.

Looking forward to some more laughing material in the New Year.

Tex

9:29 AM  
Blogger Bill Lama said...

Tex,
Thanks for your praise. If I got under your skin, and it's clear that I did, then it was time well spent. I hope you continue reading and commenting in 2006.
Happy New Year,
Bill

ps. Please try to control your personal attacks. I realize it's the way liberals think and behave but you can do better.

pps. What's your real name? Come on, identify yourself brave guy.

11:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Bill,
I got a zero too, and I'm proud of it!

Joyce

11:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I’ve taken both tests, and if gore, pelosi, schumer, reid, kennedy and most of san francisco are – collectively – the anti-Christ, then I must be the anti-liberal; I’m an Alpha-Conservative (I wanted to write “Ubber-Conservative,” but I’m not sure I’d be using it correctly, and can’t locate it in the dictionary; any suggestions?)

See you tonight, right?

Dave

Post Script – In case I never told you, and if you’ve noticed, I never capitalize persons, places or things that I don’t respect; i.e. “liberal”vs. “Conservative”, "san francisco” vs. “Craig [CO – where I hunt]” “pelosi” vs. Mclintock” or “scheer” vs. “Prager”

11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I SCORED 9. THE FOLLOWING ARE AREAS I AGREE WITH.
2- INCLUDE FBI,CSI ETC
3-
5-
6-
7-WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU SAYING?
8-
9-
10
12-WITH AN EXPLANATION

BY THE WAY, MY DEFINITIOIN OF CONSERVATIVE
1-TUNNEL VISION
2-MUST BE A REPUBLICAN
3-MAKE EXCUSES FOR REPUBLICAN FAILURES
4- MAKE EXCUSES TO GO TO WAR
5-ACCEPT ILLITERATE SPEAK BY PRESIDENT
6-SUPPORT A CANDIDATE UNTIL HE EMBARASSES YOU [KINDERGARTEN COP]
7-ON AND ON, I CAN GO ON ALL DAY.

PROUD TO BE A LIBERAL,
THE PREZ (Vic)

11:10 AM  
Blogger Bill Lama said...

Dear Prez,
I'm glad to find you're not a Moonbat. But with "9 agrees" you are in the Lefty category with the Clintons. Is that a comfortable place for you?

So you disagree with
1. You feel that things are not going well in your life. (An opinion held by 15% of Americans.)
4. Racism is our worst domestic problem. (Jesse Jackson says so.)
11. The Constitution contains the right to an abortion. (Disguised as a right to privacy, flowing from the 4th Amendment's protection against unreasonable searches)

That's a good start. But let's consider one that is close to both our hearts.
6. The environment has been degrading for the past 30 years. (Alternatively, the standard of living of average Americans has been declining.)
Do you think that either of these statements is actually true? Do you have any facts to back it up?
I'm really interested.
Bill

11:23 AM  
Blogger pappy said...

Bill you hace so many anonymous folks here I thought I was at an AA meeting.

ps. Great Post,Bill

12:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Definition of a liberal: ZERO.

Dori

8:01 PM  
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7:05 AM  

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