Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Stand By Your Man



I'm certain that if my husband (SOB) and his (not our) national security team had been shown a classified report entitled "Bin Laden Determined To Attack Inside the United States" he would have taken it more seriously than history suggests it was taken by our current president and his national security team.

And our main man Richard Clarke (terror warrior) told the 9/11 Commission that he delivered that critical report to Ms Rice in August 2001, a full month before the 9/11 attack. And Clarke emphasized that it was essentially the same report he gave my husband (SOB) in 1998, … WAIT, strike that, Clarke must have gone over to the dark side. I’ll bet he’s working for Fox News, that right wing hit factory, just like Chris Wallace, that “monkey posing as a newscaster” just ask Keith Olbermann. Now there’s a real man.

Speaking of real men, my husband (SOB) knows how to take care of a woman. In fact, I totally reject that hit piece in Newsweek that claims conservatives tend to believe in one perfect soulmate (69% to 44% for liberals) and that sex is a gift from God (56% to 42%). My husband (SOB) is a well known liberal and he’s as enthusiastic about sexual spirituality as any conservative.

Why we used the Kama Sutra and, boom, there was Chelsea. And we were planning to do it again, really, only his dating … oops, his political schedule kept interfering with our spirituality. But it’s OK because my NOW and NARAL girlfriends weren’t too happy about our birthing Chelsoy. Notice the different spelling? I really wanted to name her after my favorite food. Did I ever tell you about the time I made a tofu turkey mold for Thanksgiving? I called it a toferkey.

So I intend to stand by my man, even though I told CBS' 60 Minutes during an interview in 1992 that I "wasn't some little woman 'standing by my man' like Tammy Wynette." Wait, did I say that?? My head hurts, do you have any coca tea?

You know, it’s hard to be a woman. So, stand by your man, and show the world you love him, … after all, he’s just a man. Oh, sheet!

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bill, a touch of humor!! good one!

Helen

9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post- saw her a bit in the morning news blips and she is such a loser!!

Marie

9:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

luv it, luv it, luv it!!! :-)

Judy

9:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very well done!!! That women makes me gag... Someone on tv this morning said is it just me or is she starting to look like her husband(GOD HELP US).

Rose

9:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

she's a power hungry politician who I absolutely despise, but she's right about bush not doing anything about the aug. 6 PDB.

have any of you people read the document?

It pretty much lays it out all right there:

(a) bin laden wants to strike the US
(b) there are hijacking threats to the US
(c) they are looking at New York and Washington D.C.

The President and Condi's argument after 9/11 were: the PDB never said where or when we would be attacked.

but here's the catch: NO INTELLIGENCE SAYS WHEN YOU WILL BE ATTACKED

read it

9:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothing like the Clintons to bring Bill's Pompoms out in force. Good post Bill!

9:27 PM  
Blogger fetching jen said...

I knew if we were patient enough, the Clintons would bury themselves without any help from the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

10:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah. Funny how Bill's gone as quiet on Iraq as he has on Global Warming (facts have a habit of catching up with him). But the nasty little jibes about Democrats will go on forever....

1:08 PM  
Blogger Bill Lama said...

Quiet???

I just get tired of beating you guys up.

The ny times and the dems are being handed their heads on the intelligence report....I mean do they really think people can't read the sentences surrounding the one they cherry pick for the newspaper?

The exercise in Iraq is going just fine. Bin Laden's guys reported just today that over 4000 foreign fighters have been killed there and they were all Muslims. The more the better.

As for global warming, my heavens what a STUPID campaign that is. I will have to give it another dose of sanity.

Hope you're happy -- anony.

7:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The exercise in Iraq is going just fine"

What planet are you on?

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm still amazed at the irrational hatred conservatives have for the Clintons. This is where the mainstream conservatives and the truly right wing hate groups meet at the well. The conspiracy theories about the Clintons offing people notwithstanding, the pure rage conservatives have toward the Clintons is hard to understand. I guess they have become the symbol of liberalism and the make an easy focus for hatred. Reminds me of Orwell's 1984 in which everyday Party members were required to engage in "Two Minutes Hate". This is where the mainstream conservatives flirt with fascism and right-wing authoritarianism. Reading the comments in here it's clear that a lot of conservatives get an actual rush of glee when Bill posts stuff inflammatory towards the Clintons. I wish some of these people could ponder this and be bit more fair and introspective. Of course there are Bush haters who are quite capable of the same level of vitriol, but facts are facts. This is what we got with Bush-record deficits, a disastrous war in Iraq, and earning the enmity of the world. Not a good track record, although of course, in Rose's world, the Clintons are responsible for everything wrong. Weird but fascinating.

12:48 PM  
Blogger Bill Lama said...

Anony 1,
As long as we keep killing the jihadists in Iraq, not in Chicago, that's my definition of doing well. More and more of the killing is being done by the Iraqi army so that's good too. And the Iraqis don't have the restraint that we do, so it will be bloodier and quicker. All good things.

Anony 2,
I have no hatred for the Clintons. They are not worth hatred. I get a kick out of watching Bill lie, and must admit that Hills gets on my nerves. But hatred, no way. On the other hand, the entire Democratic Party hierarchy hate President Bush like the devil himself. And they don't hide it. So give me a break-- you are the haters.

The Clintons have only one legacy: ignoring the rise of Islamo-fascism. He will be remembered for that (and Monica).

Bush, meanwhile, will be regarded as a great wartime president.

7:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bush will be regarded as a great war president?

WOW. bill dude you are living in a fantasy world my friend.

WOW.

you know, maybe you're right. Iraq is going SUPERB. i think the 20,000 wounded and 2900 dead americans were part of the plan. it's all part of the plan eh?

the only words to use here are DELUSIONAL, INSANE, MORONIC, and BRAINWASHED

7:40 PM  

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