Thursday, October 26, 2006

Happiness is a Conservative Thing

Ronald the Great once noted: “It’s not that liberals are ignorant, it’s just that they know so much that isn’t true.” To make matters worse, it’s the attitude: liberals are “frequently in error, never in doubt,” as has been noted of a certain type of scientist.

Bill Clinton and Dianne Feinstein implore Californians to save the planet by passing CA Prop 87, the $4 Billion tax on oil that will prevent global warming in the Golden State. Phil Angirediculous pledges to demand the return of the CA National Guard troops from Iraq if he is elected governor. Fat chance on both counts. A local Palos Verdes politician opposes Prop 83 (Jessica’s Law) that mandates jail sentences without parole for sexual predators and prohibits them from living within 2000 feet of a school. His reasoning: because then the child sex felons are all going to move to Palos Verdes where there is more room between schools; at least all those with a couple of million for a house.

Economics is the liberal black hole. They just don’t get it. The stock market is soaring, GDP is growing at 3%+, unemployment is down to 4.6%, spendable income (after taxes) is rising fast, all while federal (and state) tax revenue is way up and the budget deficit is cut in half, beating that target by four years. Economists attribute all the good news to the effect of the Bush tax cuts. So the Libdem pledge: When they get into power they will raise taxes -- and dump the economy into the black hole where their brains reside.

But do you know what? Stupidity, even arrogant stupidity, is not the worst liberal trait. The absolute worst is their lack of a sense of humor. It’s like a congenital defect. And it’s deadly.

My dear blogette friend Fetching Jen asked (9/4/06): “Have you ever tried to joke with a liberal? They don't joke about anything because everything is just so dire to them... like global warming, gay rights, abortion rights, and my favorite liberal bumper sticker: The moral issues that matter: Respecting our neighbors, helping the poor, promoting peace, protecting our environment.

Well, that just about sums it up.”

It’s strange that the children of the beat generation with their “why worry, be happy” – smoke a joint philosophy are so angst ridden.

Take this great piece from our blogger friend Scott Ott at Scrappleface.

5 out of 4 U.S. Teachers Reject Math-Esteem Study

A new Brookings Institution study that shows an inverse relationship between math skills and student self-esteem is “just plain wrong,” according to an overnight poll of the nation’s largest teacher’s union.

study found that Japanese and Korean students excel in math despite their lack of confidence in their own abilities, while American kids feel great about their abilities but have much lower skills according to tests.

But the survey of National Education Association (NEA) members shows that “five out of four teachers find fault with the data.”

“It just doesn’t add up,” said an unnamed NEA spokesman. “We’ve spent three decades of the last 20 years teaching kids that their self-esteem and happiness are unrelated to their academic competence. The overwhelming minority of them now feel really happy about math.”

The NEA spokesman said the comparatively-low standardized test scores of American children “simply prove that test designers don’t know how to measure what really counts.”

The teacher opinion poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 34 percent, “but that’s okay,” the spokesman said, “because the pollsters did their personal best.”

Now that’s funny, but be careful if you show it to a liberal teacher or union leader.

Yesterday the LA Mayor Anthony Vialaraza met with the incoming school superintendent who confessed he spoke no Spanish but promised to correct that deficiency toute de suite. I chuckled.

Conservative friends: As one of your charitable works this week, tickle a liberal, but be prepared to be arrested. And sued. And be sure to stay away from them on Nov. 7, 8 --- the libdem misery index will be through the roof.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Felching Hen is so funny! These are the things liberals take so seriously and can't joke about "Have you ever tried to joke with a liberal? They don't joke about anything because everything is just so dire to them... like global warming, gay rights, abortion rights" Right. Like conservatives don't think that abortion and gay rights are dire. Don't kill those 400000 blastocysts for stem cell research...they're human beings! Those are the issues that conservatives use to scare people into winning elections! Taxes and terrorism...try joking around with your conservative friends and see how funny they think those issues are! Ridiculous.

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steven Wright, is the famously erudite scientist and comic who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen… and replaced by exact duplicates."

His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and amusement.

Here are some of his gems:

1. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize

2. Borrow money from pessimists -- They don't expect it back.

3. Half the people you know are below average.

4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8. If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9. All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand.

10. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse get's the cheese.

11. I almost had a psychic girlfriend .....but she left me before we met.

12. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

19. I intend to live forever
...... so far, so good.

20. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23. My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

And my all time favorite-

34. If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?


3:48 PM  
Blogger Free Agency Rules said...

Great Post Bill,

Once again Anon misses the point. The Bush Tax cuts work and they cannot admit it.

Sure the economy fluxuates at any given period, but since the tax cuts, it has been growing at a really great pace and with a very, very low unemployment rate.

If the Libs would just admit that the "Laffer Curve" is like any other "Bell Shped Curve" and the marginal Tax rate that is above 10% will react to improve tax revenues and improve the economy.


3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm no great mathematician but even I can tell that 5 out of 4 teachers just doesn't make sense......There's defintely something wrong with math in America.

10:17 AM  
Blogger Free Agency Rules said...

It's funny. The Libs want to scare us with their dire straights called Global Warming, all the while saying the Conservatives want to scare people about terrorists. Each side has it's scare tactic.

I think we are a lot more likely to be blown up in the near future than we are to be under 20 feet, (or is it 3 feet), of water.


1:28 PM  
Blogger fetching jen said...

Fetching Hen here... oh that's so funny anon. Bok bok bok.

Are you refering to your Liberal "Progressive Values" like aborting third trimester babies, "death with dignity" campaigns to kill grandma because she's old and feeble and in your way, giving additional "special" rights to gays even though they already have the same rights that you and I have, tax the business owners that hire you so you'll be out of a job... those share-the-wealth plans don't work except to hurt the middle class.

And just who do you think will defend our country if we leave Iraq the way you want to? Hillary? John Kerry? Nancy Pelosi? They all voted to drastically reduce spending on the American military when that military keeps them free to flap their liberal ideas so contemptously...

Liberals can't joke - they just attack. At least I can laugh about wearing my Bush/Cheney t-shirt at the Natural Food coop... the liberals look at me as if I'm an ax murderer... "Oh, the horror!"

1:01 PM  

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